{"id":30818,"date":"2015-09-29T02:00:51","date_gmt":"2015-09-29T08:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.churchvolunteercentral.com\/?p=30818"},"modified":"2016-09-07T18:22:12","modified_gmt":"2016-09-08T00:22:12","slug":"shaming-them-into-church","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wwv.group.com\/childrens-ministry\/blog\/training\/shaming-them-into-church\/","title":{"rendered":"Shaming Them Into Church"},"content":{"rendered":"

[Editor’s Note: \u00a0<\/strong>Thom’s article is from his blog, Holy Soup<\/a><\/em>. As you read this, consider its application for how we approach people to volunteer at church. Shame, arm-twisting, and guilt have never been strong motivators to get people\u00a0involved\u00a0in ministry.]<\/p>\n

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<\/span>\u201cYou should go to church\u2013and like it, whether you like it or not.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some responders to my articles on the Dones<\/a> (people who\u2019ve left the organized church) have assigned total blame to the Dones themselves. \u201cThey\u2019re backsliders,\u201d they say. \u201cIt\u2019s their duty to obey God and get their backsides back to church.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve seen a similar tone among some who\u2019ve responded to my article<\/a> on the demise of congregational singing. \u201cRegardless of the sound or anything else, you are commanded to sing and make a joyful noise,\u201d they say. Some refer to their own personal example: \u201cI don\u2019t make excuses. Every week I worship God with a humble heart.\u201d<\/p>\n

My friend Rick Lawrence, project leader for the new Jesus-Centered Bible<\/a>, cites a Christmastime Facebook post from a pastor:<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had a wonderful celebration of Jesus\u2019 birth last evening, with almost 100 of us gathered together. It was, however, disappointing that some excused themselves from being there for secular and family celebrations that in reality had nothing to do with Christmas. If we are followers of Jesus we need to celebrate God coming among us in the faith community. The only legitimate excuse to be absent is if we are either in intensive care or the morgue. Folks, it always comes down to our priorities and our level of commitment to living out our baptismal promises. If you made the wrong choice this Christmas, reflect deeply on how you can change it, and why you should. Jesus is God\u2019s love in the flesh, and the only response he seeks from us is for us to return that love!\u201d<\/p>\n

Rick wrote: \u201cThis pastor has just shoveled a steaming pile of should<\/i> into the lap of his congregation.\u201d<\/p>\n

What is the ultimate effect of this kind of admonishment and attempted behavior modification? Is shame a fruitful ministry tool? I see several problems.<\/p>\n

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  1. Shaming usually involves the shamer\u2019s negative\u00a0judgment of a person\u2019s heart and motives. That\u2019s dangerous and destructive.<\/li>\n
  2. Shaming doesn\u2019t work. Few people increase their authentic love and devotion to God (or anyone) because someone shames them into loving.<\/li>\n
  3. Shamers inevitably come off as self-righteous. That\u2019s not the reputation God desires for his followers.<\/li>\n
  4. Shaming distracts the shamers from improving their own ministry effectiveness.<\/li>\n
  5. Shaming forgets that God doesn\u2019t want a \u201cshotgun\u201d relationship with us.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As a loving Father, God wants us to draw near to him\u2013not out of duty, obligation or shame, but out of genuine love. He\u2019s not looking for indentured servants. He\u2019s looking for true friends. So is his Son, who told his followers: \u201cI\u00a0no longer call you servants. Instead, I call you friends.\u201d (John 15:15)<\/p>\n

    The truth is, Jesus is wildly in love with you. He not only loves you; he likes you. He\u2019s not looking to be one more item on your \u201cto do\u201d list. He\u2019s looking for a real relationship.<\/p>\n

    When Rick Lawrence writes about the Jesus-centered life, he describes it like a gravitational pull\u2013toward the loving, welcoming arms of Jesus.<\/p>\n

    \u201cCome to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.\u201d (Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus-Centered Bible)<\/p>\n

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    [Editor’s Note: \u00a0Thom’s article is from his blog, Holy Soup. As you read this, consider its application for how we approach people to volunteer at church. Shame, arm-twisting, and guilt have never been strong motivators to get people\u00a0involved\u00a0in ministry.]   \u201cYou should go to church\u2013and like it, whether you like it or not.\u201d Some responders to my articles on the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":104,"featured_media":30821,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[129,6,670],"tags":[596,597,598,534],"class_list":["post-30818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-recruit","category-training","category-volunteers","tag-holy-soup","tag-recruting-volunteers","tag-shame","tag-thom-schultz"],"yoast_head":"\nShaming Them Into Church - Group Children's Ministry<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"  \u201cYou should go to church\u2013and like it, whether you like it or not.\u201d Some responders to my articles on the Dones (people who\u2019ve left the organized\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wwv.group.com\/childrens-ministry\/blog\/training\/shaming-them-into-church\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Shaming Them Into Church - 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